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I Never Wanted To Say This

ONLY ONE by Yellowcard

broken this fragile thing now

and I can't, I can't pick up the pieces

and I've thrown my words all around

but I can't, I can't give you a reason

I feel so broken up (so broken up)

and I give up (I give up)

I just want to tell you so you know

here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you

you are my only one

I let go, but there's just no one that gets me like you

you are my only, my only one

made my mistakes, let you down

and I can't, I can't hold on for too long

ran my whole life in the ground

and I can't, I can't get up when you're gone

and something's breaking up (breaking up)

I feel like giving up (like giving up)

I won't walk out until you know

here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you

you are my only one

I let go, but there's just no one that gets me like you

you are my only my only one

here I go so dishonestly

leave a note for you my only one

and I know you can see right through me

so let me go and you will find someone

here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you

you are my only one

I let go, but there's just no one, no one like you

you are my only, my only one

my only one

my only one

my only one

you are my only, my only one

Feel free to digest this. Chew on it. Run your tongue over it a couple of times. Mostly, just know that this songs means more to me than almost any other song in the world. <3

I, Maddy, hereby declare that on the 5th of March, 2010 at 8:49, I gave up on him.

C'mon And Catch Me If You Can

New Friend Regrets

Danger Is My Middle Name

when sinful invitation

becomes a painful second guess

I'll take back what we started

and I'll come back for the rest

my words have been demoted

to a shameful waste of breath

I'll hold my tongue much tighter

than I'm holding this regret

take my phony heart

and make it something real

break my open arms

so pain is all I feel

I feel like sitting this one out

when summer is over

I'm letting this one go

straight to my head

cuz you're better off when you're better off dead

drown me in shallow water

until breathing starts to slow

it's well said that you're better off

when you're better off dead

my heart has turned against me

and I'm hanging by a thread

cross your fingers when you kiss me

and then say we're more than friends

I've set my sight on summer

and making one last bet

I'll be taking all your punches

like I haven't already yet...

take my phony heart

and make it something real

break my open arms

so pain is all I feel

I feel like sitting this one out

when summer is over

I'm letting this one go

straight to my head

cuz you're better off when you're better off dead

drown me in shallow water

until breathing starts to slow

It's well said that you're better off

when you're better off dead

when summer is over

I'm letting this one go

straight to my head

cuz you're better off when you're better off dead

drown me in shallow water

until breathing starts to slow

It's well said that you're better off

when you're better off dead

when summer is over

I'm letting this one go

straight to my head

cuz you're better off when you're better off dead

drown me in shallow water

until breathing starts to slow

It's well said that you're better off

when you're better off dead

 

So I'm kinda feeling like this has been describing my life for quite some time... And I love Danger Is My Middle Name, but this song is obviously less than happy. Oh shit I haven't done my spanish homework. Or APUSH. Nor did I study for the precalc test. Oh well. FML for sure. I hung out with Zoey all night instead of doing it. Shoot. But I did find a dress for All-State! Except I look like an ogre in it and I wanted the pretty pheasant one, but NOOOOOOO it cost to much. Humph.

Gotta get back to my research paper, this is all for now.

 

Sucks to be me,

Saddy Maddy

 

[if I was a guy I think I'd be gay]

We Can't Go Back

Some days there are times when I wish that what we had in the beginning, a summer friendship, was all I'd ever known with you. Some days there are times when I hate you for what you can do to me. Some days there are times when I just want to leave all of it behind; to move on with my life. But simultaneously to all those times, there are the moments that live inside me that I cherish every second of my life. There are moments that I will never forget: hanging out with "the group", playing disc golf, playing soccer, swimming, fishing, chilling on the dock, failing at the tramp, watching Jurassic Park at Hailee's, ping pong in my garage, beer pong in your garage, pool in Hailee's basement.

God, I just want to leave everything behind, though. I try to imagine what life would be like if I'd never really gotten to know you. I mean... I feel like I know stuff about you that no one else does. And with you, that's quite an accomplishment. Life without you is honestly impossible to imagine. Which is a curse...

You looked me in the eye and said, with that signature smirk, "Tonight anything goes." And then Cody kissed you and all hell broke loose. Hahahahaha. But that phrase was so representative of my summer. I just want to thank you. I told you you were my favorite person ever. And you are and always will be. You're amazing, and while I'm pretty sure you know that, I still feel the need to tell you.

I'm Just A Kiss Away

Long, introspective posts are so overrated. Let's be happy and cheery and flit from one topic to another.
For instance:
Lake this weekend! Hells yeah!
Glee will be watched! Even more hells yeah!
We're gonna go ice fishing and I'm really excited.
I love Mayday Parade's new[ish] album a lot.
Bruised And Scarred is currently my life!
I don't think you're supposed to capitalize the "and"s in a title, amongst other letters.
But I do.
Because I'm BA like that! :] Hahaha except not at all. Mostly just because I'm kind of OCD.
But not in a correct way, I guess.
So, I've self-diagnosed myself with OCD and Social Anxiety.
I wonder if I have either of those?
Probably not. But it's nice to have some [unreal] explanations to explain my oddities.
BLACK HOLE OF WRONGNESS!
I did our APUSH take home test-61 questions is a lot, Lubeck. I do not appreciate.
I also did the Chem lab. AND IT FIT ON ONE PAGE! Yeahhhhhhh.
The cover I just purchased for my Droid isn't staying on correctly.
OH YEAH I GOT A NEW PHONE!

This is all because I need to go sleep and pack my makeup for our Bandmaster's concert! Megan and I are bus buddies! I'm pumped.

I love love, I love being in love,
Maddy!

[Some spiffy The Format lyrics right there!]

Your Lashing Out At Me Is Fantastically Compelling And Inappropriate

I love skanky bitches.
I love how no one cares.
I love how he denied you.
I love how you try to talk tough.
I love how you fail.
I love my life.
I love band.
I love summer.
I LOVE GLEE!
I love dreaming about the lake.
I love dreaming about skiing.
I love dreaming about you.
I love my life.
I love you.