We Can't Go Back

Some days there are times when I wish that what we had in the beginning, a summer friendship, was all I'd ever known with you. Some days there are times when I hate you for what you can do to me. Some days there are times when I just want to leave all of it behind; to move on with my life. But simultaneously to all those times, there are the moments that live inside me that I cherish every second of my life. There are moments that I will never forget: hanging out with "the group", playing disc golf, playing soccer, swimming, fishing, chilling on the dock, failing at the tramp, watching Jurassic Park at Hailee's, ping pong in my garage, beer pong in your garage, pool in Hailee's basement.

God, I just want to leave everything behind, though. I try to imagine what life would be like if I'd never really gotten to know you. I mean... I feel like I know stuff about you that no one else does. And with you, that's quite an accomplishment. Life without you is honestly impossible to imagine. Which is a curse...

You looked me in the eye and said, with that signature smirk, "Tonight anything goes." And then Cody kissed you and all hell broke loose. Hahahahaha. But that phrase was so representative of my summer. I just want to thank you. I told you you were my favorite person ever. And you are and always will be. You're amazing, and while I'm pretty sure you know that, I still feel the need to tell you.